GRRRRR!

Please forgive me if this blog post is totally disjointed and off the wall. I'm so damn frustrated right now I could scream!

Confused. Dazed. Outraged. Depressed. There are so many emotions going on in my mind right now.  Perhaps that's what makes it more difficult is having all the out-of-control emotions boil to the top without control on my part.

I once worked for a woman who said, "I can sit on a mountain, but not on a tack." This is a mountain and I plan on moving it!  I doubt it will go peacefully, but nonetheless, it will go!

My head is pounding and my arms feel heavy.  My chest is tight and I feel short of breath.  All classic signs of a heart attack.  But I know better.  It's anxiety caused by stress. Some self-induced, some situational-induced.

Maybe if I screamed... or cried.  I certainly can't laugh.

I'm not going to go into the problem right now.  You know, change the name, protect the innocent.  But everyone would know the players anyway.

So for now, I'll pray, and meditate and work relaxation exercises.

And keep writing my blog.

Tuesday Tally: Before you get a driver's license

A couple weeks ago I pulled into a parking lot and parked a space over from two cars with open hoods.  Beside the vehicles were two younger ladies and a young man.

The young man, probably 17 or 18 years old, was attempting to attach jumper cables to one of the batteries.  He looked like he was struggling to figure out how to make the connection.

As I exited my truck, I noticed neither car was running. So I casually asked, "Do you need some help?" They replied with, "No thanks, we can get it."

When I came back, the hoods of both vehicles were still up and all three were sitting inside one of the cars, which was running.

I guess they were charging the battery.

If they had the time to sit and wait, more power to them.

But it made me think: You shouldn't be able to get a driver's license until you can:

• Properly use jumper cables.
• Check the oil level.
• Check the tire pressure
• CHANGE a tire.
• Add washer fluid
• How to fuel the vehicle.
• How to change wiper blades.
• Check the belts.

I'm sure there are many more items to add to this list, but it's a start.  How many of these tasks can you perform?

The Price of Health

Sticker shock is something you get when you think you know the price of a item and it turns out to be much more.  Maybe it's more about what you're willing to play versus the selling price.

I'm fortunate -- and spoiled -- by the healthcare coverage I have at work. For the most part, I don't have to worry about the price tag on being well.

From time to time, in an effort to reduce the nearly annual 30% increase in insurance premiums, the company modifies the plan without reducing the coverage. It's little things like self-insuring co-pays.

During our annual benefit meeting last fall, we were told about our Healthcare Savings Account.  This is an actual savings account at the bank with funds for our healthcare.

I think HSA is also part of Obamacare.

We were also informed to expect sticker shock when it comes to our prescription medications. Beginning January 1, we began playing 100% of the medication cost, until our deductible is reached.

Okay, doesn't sound so bad, right?

Now I'm not one to take a lot of meds. An occasional antibiotic or anti-inflammatory, something for my "getting older" aches and pains. Nothing on a regular basis.

Sticker shock doesn't begin to describe my reaction to the cost of a prescription reorder I considered making last week.  What used to cost me $120 for a three month supply will now be $738!

Thankfully it's ordered "PRN."  That stands for pro re nata, meaning take as needed. I don't need it often.

Regardless of how often I take it, it's a ridiculous price and I'll be checking with my doctor to see if there's something else I can take.

I don't know how people who are not covered by insurance could pay those prices for life-saving medication.

For me, it's been a valuable lesson in the price of health. 

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

12th floor view from
Grand Traverse Resort

Wow!  Last Thursday evening I traveled to Traverse City (Michigan) for a EMS Instructor conference.  The trip was uneventful and the evening was quiet.  Friday was filled with training sessions and talk about "the storm" that was brewing.  I heard one report about "up to 15 inches."

I'm writing this Saturday night. Because I'm just getting home and I'm tired, this blog post is going to be short and sweet.

Friday evening the Meijer store parking lot was full as the snow as falling to the ground.  By 8 pm I was holed up in my Travelodge motel room with a comfy bed, plenty of TV channels on the cable and free WiFi for internet browsing.

By morning, I was faced with the need to brush eight-plus inches of heavy, wet snow.  The sky was overcast with more snow falling.

Thankfully the roads were plowed and I was able to get home safely.

Cars buried under a blanket of wet, heavy snow.

Don't worry... BE HAPPY!

Why are are most people never happy with their looks and have this crazy need to either disguise or drastically change their appearance?

Now before I get up on my soapbox, I'll offer this disclaimer: I had gastric-bypass surgery nearly nine years ago.  Yes, it changed my looks -- and my life.  However, I had the surgery more so for health reasons than to change my appearance.  I have an extensive family history of heart disease and diabetes. In addition, I was suffering with joint and back problems as well as other physical ailments. I knew I had to do something when, as an paramedic, I was responding to an auto accident and I had trouble kneeling down next to a patient lying on the road.

And yes, my weight also caused emotional distress.

Which brings me back to my original question:  Why are are most people never happy with their looks and have this crazy need to either disguise or drastically change their appearance?

The answer? Probably the bombardment of messages we get from family and friends and total strangers. Movies and TV shows are loaded with negative references to self-image as well as "look-at-me-I-am-perfect-so-be-like-me" images as well. Mass marketing and general media shape our self-opinion and esteem.

Male anorexia (starvation) is becoming as common in boys and young men as it has been for the female population.  People are literally dying to look good.

But the problem isn't just about weight.

People are the butt of many jokes if they have a big nose, ears that stick out a little more than others, cleft lip, protruding "buck" teeth, amblyopia (that's a lazy eye)... the list goes on and on.

Really, it's no wonder we can't be happy with ourselves.

Thankfully I learned a long time ago, I don't give a sh!t what anyone thinks of me.

I should know better

Sometimes we make choices that seem smart at the time, but then we realize that they really are not so smart after all. For the fleeting moment you react on impulse and then... you get what you deserve.

My case in point: I wanted to make enlargements of a couple photos I had played around with to create a collage.  Nothing earth shattering, just somethings I wanted for Monday morning.

I stopped by the local pharmacy to use their self-serve kiosk. As luck would have it, the USB port on the machine wasn't working. Okay, no big deal. I could wait until I get to the city and stop by Meijer.*

Then the lightbulb came on. Walmart! I could just zip over there, run in, make the prints and be back home in a half hour.

No such luck.

I check out the kiosks, stepping up to one with and "Instant Prints" sign on top and touch the start key on the screen.

I load my prints, thinking 8x10s would be great.  Whoa, not at nearly $5.00 each.  Okay, so I'll get 5x7s.

How do I delete the 8x10s?  What the heck?  GRRRRRR.  Start over.  (sigh)

So I load the prints, again, and move along in the process.  For some reason the damn machine wants to crop my photos.  Ah, there's a no crop choice.

Finally, after about 15 minutes of fooling around, I hit the print button, which triggers a receipt from the kiosk. I can retrieve my photos from another machine.

The next machine has a barcode scanner on top, so I scan my receipt and the display says that I'm No. 5 in the que and my prints will be available in about 32 minutes.

WHAT is instant about a 32 minute wait?  Apparently the young couple at another machine were printing every photo they've ever taken in their 20-something lives.

I am not amused.  Waiting is not my strong suit when I'm already annoyed.

Thankfully, it only took about 29 minutes for my prints to be ready.  Ready with edges cropped off even with the "No Crop" option.

As I go to the counter for the clerk to give me a price tag, and ask why the machine cropped my photos when I chose "No Crop."

"The photos all have some cropping," the clerk replies, "otherwise there would be a white board on  the edges."

The preview had white edges!  (sigh)

Wait, this is Walmart. Yeah, you can kick me in the azz.  I'm an idiot.

I should know better... I got exactly what I deserved.

*Meijer is a department store chain based in Grand Rapids, MI with stores in the Midwest.

Made Up Words

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin once used the word "Refudiate" and became the butt of jokes for weeks.  The bigger joke was her Shakespeare liked to coin new words comment after the fact.

She also said that English is a living language. That is the truth!

What reminded me about her gaff was my recent Zweiback Pie blog post where I used the phrase "creamy-custardy." Custardy isn't a word, yet most people would understand the meaning.

How can that be?

Think about it. Where do words come from?

Words are a mix and match, mishmash of other words that become commonly understood by others.

Not long ago, words and phrases like internet, email, web browser and bandwidth were nearly unheard from the mouth of everyday people.

Do you know where the word "Blog" originates?  It's a weB LOG.

Yes, the English language is a living language. Morphing and everchanging into something new and exciting.

And that's a fact you can't refudiate.