Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Tuesday Tally: Movie Must NOT Sees

I haven't shared a Tuesday Tally in a while. So why not share something odd:

Here's a short list of Movie Must NOT Sees.  These movies either showing or have opening dates coming soon.

Texas Chainsaw 3D —  January is often horror film month. TC-3D is, according to one report I read, the 47th variation on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. I missed at least 45 of the previous versions, so I don't think I would understand the plot.

A Haunted House — While this sounds like another horror film, it's actually looks like a horrible film. It's not officially part of the Scary Movie series, but it has that feel. Unfortunately, the Scary Movie movies haven’t been good since The Wayan brothers left. I think you'll see the best of the worst by watching the trailer here.

The Last Stand — The Last Stand is an attempt to revive the career of a Hollywood relic, former California Gubbanator Arnold Schwarzennegar. Personally, with all the swirl around Arnie, I'm not all that jazzed about the return of Schwarzennegar. This very well could be The Last Stand for Arnold.

Parker — Another one of Jason Statham’s biannual movies, Parker will probably be remembered as the Statham Movie in which he wears a cowboy hat and Jennifer Lopez walks around in her underwear. That's probably a sellling point for some movie-goers, but if you want a movie with any substance, make another pick.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters — What's with taking fairy tales or real life people (Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter) and turning them into hunters of the unreal.  Fantasy meet fiction? H&G: Witch Hunders will either be the worst movie of the year or sweep the Oscars (because awful movies sometimes do that!).

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